Limassol: L'Onda Sanctuary

The L'Onda Pool

In my world-weary, cynical experience, there are three kinds of hotels in the world:

• Those that you are unhappy to arrive at, and happy to leave;
• Those that you are happy to arrive at, but happy to leave;
• Those that you are happy to arrive at, but unhappy to leave.

The L’Onda is the best kind of hotel: I’m always happy to arrive, and always feel I could stay at least two or three more days to catch up with myself. Small, unassuming, in the heart of Limassol’s tourist area, the L’Onda started out as the first suite hotel in Cyprus. After a long period of somnolescence, it transformed itself into a boutique hotel – one of the few real such properties in Cyprus – and has gone from strength to strength ever since.

What makes the L’Onda different? It’s not the scale of facilities: the pool is laughably small compared to the Amathus, Four Seasons or Meridien. It’s not the architecture: sandwiched between apartment blocks reminiscent of Beirut, there’s nothing architectural to distinguish it. And it’s not the beach, a hard-packed, meager strip of black sand.

What distinguishes the L’Onda is its attention to detail and its high quality of service. The rooms – no longer all suites, alas – are outfitted with carefully chosen teak and hardwood furniture, including some unique touches such as the olive-wood closet handles. They are impeccably clean and well-kept: I’ve never staying in a room that’s scuffed, tired or faded, as I have at so many other 5* Cypriot properties.

Although some rooms are small, their internal lay-out is such that they seem larger. Each room has a Nespresso machine with coffee and tea facilities, high-speed internet condition, and all the mod cons. The bathrooms are a particular delight, with Molton Brown toiletries which are always welcome.

The suites are really special. They usually include two bathrooms, a bedroom and full sitting room, very tastefully decorated, light and airy, not heavy and deadening. Refreshingly, the property is not ironic, which seems to be a motif in most overly self-conscious boutiques of this kind. I would definitely recommend booking a suite, especially since they are very moderately priced, and once you’ve stayed in one it’s a terrible let-down to go back to a standard room. A word of warning on rooms: try to get one with a full sea view: most are side sea views, and what you see are apartment blocks on either side.

The restaurant is good-to-excellent. Their lobster salad with caramelized scallops is superb, though neither ingredient is fresh, given supplies in Cyprus. The wine list is average: they are missing a good Riesling for seafood, or a Brunello for some dishes. The menu doesn’t change that often – it could do with some re-thinking. Breakfast, though correct, is a little bit minimal. The buffet includes those hoary favourites fried eggs, sausages, bacon, stewed whole tomatos, and haloumi, and could do with a revamp. It is possible to order scrambled eggs, omelettes and such.

The Caprice Bar

A highlight is the Caprice Lounge and Balcony. Modelled after the Mykonos Caprice, it fills up between 19:00 – 11:00 with the languid buzz of high society. During my stays there I’ve seen various ministers, managers, models, actors and other worthies.

The gym and spa are well-equipped, with professional staff in the spa area. The front office staff is extraordinarily helpful. This past visit, I was finishing a proposal, and they readily provided an AA battery for my mouse, a high speed LAN cable for internet access, photocopies, a stapler and hole puncher and all manner of encouragement. Honestly, this is rare.

There are only two negative things, if they can be called that:

- The elevators are two steel coffins left over from the 1970s. They are probably too awkward to replace, but they should be at the first opportunity.

- The business areas are inadequate. There is one large conference area on the ground floor just to the left of the entry, and one underground “board room.” The conference area is tired, lacks natural light and is a little depressing. I’ve seen it used to store luggage, but never for an actual event. The Board Room is well-equipped (save the carpet), but is underground, and impossible for day-long meetings. On the bright side, the lack of such facilities means a refreshing absence of tubby accountants in rumpled suits and mobile phone addiction.

I would unreservedly recommend the L’Onda for businessmen in Limassol for 2-3 days. It’s small, contained, tres chic, and refreshingly different from the 5* dinosaurs down the road. I don’t recommend it for people looking for the ultimate, 7-day, 6-night resort vacation, or families.